Don't You Know Times Change?
by Milo and Wolf Inc
Summary: A new teacher misinterprets an argument between Scorpius and Al, thinking that their relationship is as antagonistic as their fathers' was. His efforts to keep them from causing problems inadvertently turns them against each other instead.
1. Chapter 1

"Merlin, I love this place." Scorpius tossed his satchel onto Al's bed and tossed himself next to it. His robes were somewhere in the vicinity of the door and Al spelled them onto Scorpius' bed as he stepped over them. "Don't you?" he asked.

"You're a flobberworm," Al offered in response. "It's a week into term, we've already got more homework than we've ever had before, short of maybe OWLS, your dad is pressuring you to go off and be a company president-"

"At the ripe old age of eighteen, no less, that's important," Scorpius pointed out. "Don't forget that bit."

Al dropped his bag on Scorpius, and his blonde friend made the appropriate 'oof!' sound. "Not to mention," he continued, ignoring Scorpius' interruption, "that Professor Baghyde _hates_ us. I mean, what did we do to him?" He sat down on Scorpius' bed and carefully loosened his tie before setting it on the desk between their beds.

Al dropped his bag on Scorpius, and his blonde friend made the appropriate 'oof!' sound. "Not to mention," he continued, ignoring Scorpius' interruption, "that Professor Baghyde hates us. I mean, what did we do to him?" He sat down on Scorpius' bed and carefully loosened his tie before setting it on the desk between their beds.

Professor Baghyde was the new Advanced Philosophy teacher, and had taken an instant disliking to both of the boys when they walked into class for their second lesson with him. In the first lesson, he had apparently not noted who they were, but when Al and Scorpius entered the classroom in the midst of a loud discussion of who would make a better seeker for Slytherin's team, he ordered them to sit on opposing sides of the classroom. The fact that neither of them played and were arguing for the sake of making noise and hearing themselves talk didn't factor into Baghyde's decision, to their mutual ire.

"I do not want to catch you boys bothering one another," he had snapped at them, to the surprise of everybody in the room. Slytherin House had long since gotten used to the fact that the boys were closer than anybody considered socially acceptable and it was unusual to come across teachers who weren't already aware of it. "Clearly, you haven't learned from the mistakes of your fathers. Fighting with one another will only result in detention and a loss of points. Silence, Mister Potter! I do not want your family feud to carry over into my classroom or the halls of Hogwarts and if I catch you two misbehaving, there will be severe consequences!"

The 'family feud' in question wasn't even a feud at all; their fathers had run into one another at Diagon Alley and had pointedly not acknowledged each other. A Prophet journalist had been nearby and went to town on the incident, and it made the front page of the Prophet. Rose had added the article to the Family Newspaper Book in a place of honor near the front, which was reserved for "Incidents of Supreme Prophet Stupidity".

"Yes, well, that could be a problem," Scorpius conceded. "We'll have to find a way to get around that. It's weird not sitting next to you in class."

"Clearly he hasn't been very observant, seeing as we're always together," Scorpius said, drawing a look from Al that quite plainly said 'duh'.

"It's stupid though, because our dads don't even talk to each other! They just _had_ to run that article in the Prophet," Al said. He got up off of the bed and dug through his bag. Scorpius rolled onto his stomach and got to his feet as well and stripped himself of his vest and tie. Both landed on Al's bed, his preferred place to dump his property. "We should probably go to the library and start on that stupid essay, no reason to give Baghyde any other reason to hate us."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

On the way through the Slytherin commons, Al winked at a blonde fifth year, who turned red, and Scorpius managed to cop a feel on his on-again-off-again girl, Malinda Towers. They were cackling on their way out the door, and both of the jumped out at a gaggle of first years.

"Sometimes I think we're getting too cocky," Scorpius commented.

"Well, maybe," Al said, thoughtfully. "Except I don't care."

"And that's the way it'll always be," they chorused.

By mutual decision, they took the most crowded route to the library. On the way through the Entrance Hall, they ran into Professor Melbourne, the headmaster.

"Boys! I don't believe I've seen either of you since the new year started. I hope your families are doing well?"

"Yes, sir," Scorpius said.

"James is just as much a prat as ever, of course. Mum says she doesn't know what she's going to do with him." Al grinned and Professor Melbourne returned it. James had caused more than his fair share of 'accidents' and mischief throughout the years. It was surely a welcome relief among the teachers that he was gone.

"Now, this may just be hearsay, boys, but I did hear that you were having problems…?" Professor Melbourne tugged on his short brown beard and gave Scorpius and Al a worried look. "Is this true?"

"Uh…" Al glanced at Scorpius, who shrugged minutely. "It's…nothing. We're good."

Professor Melbourne smiled and patted them on the shoulders. "Good to hear, boys. We don't need two of our top students fighting. It sets a bad image for the rest of the school. Good day!" Professor Melbourne grinned broadly and passed between the boys to talk to a couple of third years behind them.

Scorpius set his jaw, but Al bumped his shoulder and muttered, "Don't push it. Baghyde will figure it out sooner or later. It's not hard to tell that we don't hate each other."

"Maybe it's just an incredibly elaborate cover and we're secretly planning each others' deaths?" Scorpius whispered back.

"I think I'd know if I was planning to kill you," Al said. At Scorpius' incredulous look, he added, "Well, probably. Merlin knows I've strangled you in more than one dream."

"If I ever wake up to discover you trying to kill me, I'll just blame it on your subconscious, then, shall I?" Scorpius bumped Al back. At the top of the stairs, Al shoved him into a doorway, and sparked a battle that lasted clear up until they bumped into Baghyde himself at the top of the stairs just before the library doors.

"I expect I won't be hearing about any fights tonight or any other night, correct?" Baghyde asked, his eyes narrowed behind his thick glasses.

"We're both Slytherins," Al said flatly. "We don't fight in public."

"Nope," quipped Scorpius. "We fight in a dungeon beneath the lake, surrounded by our adoring fans."

Baghyde's eyes bulged and Al drove his elbow into Scorpius' side. "He's _joking_, sir," Al said, through clenched teeth. "Good night." Al offered a pointy sort of smile, with plenty of teeth and very little mirth, and dragged Scorpius around the furious professor and into the library, where at least they wouldn't be yelled at. Whispered angrily, maybe, but Madame Librarian would have a fit if the 'calm atmosphere was disturbed. That means you, yes, I can see you behind that bookcase!'

"What's his problem?" Scorpius groused once they were safely out of Baghyde's hearing. "You'd think he was stuck in the Dark Ages, the way he acts." He dumped the contents of his bag onto the first empty table they came to, and Al rescued an inkwell from taking a dive off the table.

"Would you be more careful?" Al set it properly on the table and sat down. Scorpius' books and notes and quills and Merlin-knew-what-else was scattered everywhere. Al shoved most of it back towards Scorpius and neatly set his own notes on the table. "How do you manage to be that disorganized?" he asked, not for the first time, as Scorpius dug through the piles for his philosophy notes.

"It's not normally a problem. In case you missed it, you're normally the one who gets upset when my stuff is out of order and puts it in order for me." Scorpius located the missing notes and piled everything else on the chair next to him. "Is it just me, or just Baghyde have you feeling out of sorts?"

"Can't deny it myself," Al said. He retrieved a new roll of parchment and a quill and scribbled a few words onto it.

Scorpius leaned over the table to read the words and turned the parchment towards himself when he discovered that the writing was too scratchy to make out. "What's happened to your writing? Normally it's readable."

Al took his paper back and dipped his quill in Scorpius' inkwell. "I'm disinclined towards maintaining my usual levels of readability. This is, after all, for Baghyde."

"Tell me," Scorpius asked with a exasperated sigh, "How do you not get mad? I really don't understand it."

"It's all about being in control. You should know that well enough, that's practically a Malfoy trademark." Al gestured to Scorpius' notes and offered him a quill. "Get to work, the sooner we're done, the sooner we can go do something interesting."

"Yeah, I thought this class was supposed to be where philosophy gets good. We're covering fifth year stuff." Scorpius ignored his notes and launched into his essay. It was their first essay for Baghyde and true to form, Scorpius had every intent of handing in the most bullshitty essay he could manage, in an attempt to gauge what the worst Baghyde would accept would be. It was so much easier to do what the teacher looked for instead of his 100% best every time. It wasn't the best tactic for getting around putting effort into schoolwork, but Scorpius had never been particularly interested in grades. Passing tests was no problem; it was just needing motivation to actually do the homework that caused problems.

An indeterminable amount of time later, Scorpius shoved his essay under Al's nose. "Read it and weep," he said. Al raised an eyebrow, still bent over his essay, and sat back to survey the delicately written mess. "You done yet?" Scorpius bounced in his seat, apparently proud of the result of his efforts.

"Give me a moment," Al said. He dipped his quill and with a flourish, finished off the five-inches-too-many essay. His handwriting had become somewhat more readable towards the end, when his natural tendency to neatness kicked in, but it rambled and was certainly not his best effort by a long shot. "Do you want me to read yours or are you just trying to tell me that you're done?" he inquired when Scorpius dropped it to the table.

"I don't really care. I'm bored and there are ladies to be bothered." Scorpius stuffed his belongings into his bag and Al winced at the sound of parchment being crushed inside. "Come on, if you're done let's go."

"If you insist." Al made a point of taking extra time to neatly gather his books and papers and organized them inside his bag. Scorpius made noises at him all the while, and as soon as Al slung his bag over his shoulder, Scorpius pushed him out of the library and down towards the Slytherin Commons.


	2. Chapter 2

"Albus!" A furious voice broke through Al's morning fog, the result of a night of partying in the 7th year dorm, and he blearily turned around to see Lily storming towards him. "What did you do?" she demanded, her voice slicing through his brain with all the power of your average banshee.

"What'd I do when?" he asked. "I haven't gotten in any trouble. Don't tell Mum! I didn't do anything!"

"Covering your arse, I see," she snarled. Usually, Al could figure out what he'd done to piss off his little sister, but he hadn't done anything since before term began, and she was well aware of his meddling in her relationship. As far as he knew, she'd fixed that problem nearly as soon as he'd caused it.

"Lulu, I don't know what you think I did, but I didn't," he mumbled. Lily softened somewhat; Al was pretty good about fessing up when he'd done something. "What happened?"

"Professor Baghyde—" Lily began, but before she could continue, the Slytherins nearest them who had been not-so-subtly listening in started in with a cacophony of slurs and complaints that made Al wince.

"Slaghyde, you mean?" Alan Merhoff, one of Al's dorm mates, stabbed at his kippers and Lily stood back, startled by the ferocity of the group's complaints. "That arse shouldn't be allowed near students."

"He's so wrapped up in the past," Damia Dansel complained. She handed Al a glass of water and he gratefully swallowed it down. "This is why you don't drink on weekdays, honey," she said. Al narrowed his eyes at her and she ruffled his hair. "Don't worry, I've got designs on Michaels, not you. I'm _over_ you."

"I—what?" Lily put her hands on her hips and surveyed the grumbling students. "What's your problem with Baghyde?"

"The same as everybody else's, I think," Alan said. "He separates Slytherins from everybody else, and he's a total prat to Scor and Al. Slytherins stick together, but it's nothing like it was back—well, you know."

Lily visibly deflated. Alan patted the seat next to him and Lily plopped down. "So, Youngest Potter, what's your problem with Slaghyde?" He handed Lily a plate and Damia passed down a goblet of warm pumpkin juice.

A younger Ravenclaw turned around and regarded them curiously. She glanced warily at the Head Table, but whoever she was looking for wasn't to be found. She stood up and joined the little group. "Is that the newest name for him, then?" she asked. "Slaghyde?"

Alan looked around at the others for confirmation before looking back at the fifth year. "I guess it is. Among other names, of course."

She nodded seriously, then grinned. "I'll make sure people hear this one. Maybe he'll be so miserable teaching that he leaves!"

"You do that," Alan said with a lascivious grin. "Hey, you busy later?"

The dark-haired Ravenclaw scowled at him, and Damia whapped him across the back of the head. "Behave, you prat," Damia said. "No hitting on younger years, that's cradlerobbing." The Ravenclaw girl rolled her eyes and returned to her table, where her friends eagerly gathered around her.

"Anyhow, Potter, what's your deal?" Damia leaned forward, and Al thunked his head down on the table. Their conversation was quite interesting and all, but he was hungover and he had an early morning class to attend. "Cool it, Al. Your hangover is your own fault."

"He pulled me aside after class yesterday to tell me that he wouldn't tolerate any fighting with the other Houses." Lily pulled a face and Damia made a sympathetic sound.

"I don't approve of you being nice to my sister," Al whined. "it's not normal."

"Kindly piss off if you're going to be a prat," Damia said without a glance at her friend. Lily snickered and patted Al on the head.

"I hate you both," he mumbled. "I'm going to class."

Al abandoned his friends and his sister to their commiseration, and wandered out towards the stairs. Rosie jogged up behind him and joined him on his trek to the Transfiguration classroom. "Morning, Al," she offered. His bloodshot eyes and lack of a response clued her in and she rolled her eyes. "Someday you will learn not to get yourself into trouble," she said.

"_Trouble_, Mister Potter?"

"Well, shit." Al gritted his teeth and he and Rose turned to see Professor Baghyde coming up behind them. "Professor," he forced out. "How…nice to see you this morning."

"I do hope I didn't overhear the word _trouble_ coming from Miss Weasley, did I?" He bore down on them and Rosie took an involuntary step back to avoid the man. At barely two weeks into school, he was still going strong on his rampage to 'bring peace and solidarity to the school'. As far as Al and Scorpius could discern, peace and solidarity meant separating anybody that Baghyde felt might become a problem, as well as making sure there was absolutely no chance for the Houses (mainly the Slytherins and Gryffindors) to disagree by assigning so many notes and so much homework that there was barely time to get along, let alone start fights.

"Uh, no. I said, um, bubble. Not trouble." Rosie winced at her own lie and Al resisted the urge to slap his forehead. He had been hoping to avoid Baghyde; he only had him Tuesdays and Thursdays, and as it was Friday, he had been hoping to avoid him for the weekend.

"Nana Weasley's bubble-and-squeak, to be precise," a silky smooth voice behind Baghyde cut in. Scorpius sauntered up, perfectly coiffed and dressed to perfection, without even a hint of a hangover. Al plotted his murder; he wondered vaguely if the squid would eat dead humans. "You see, sweet Rosie here is learning womanly pursuits, like cooking, and dearest Al is discussing Nana Weasley's bubble-and-squeak." He threw his arms around the cousins and smiled broadly at Baghyde. "Now, if there isn't a problem, sweet Rosie and dearest Al and myself should get ourselves to the Transfiguration classroom for our lesson. It's important for young witches and wizards to throw themselves into their studies to be the best they can be, you know."

Without waiting for an answer, Scorpius spun Rosie and Al around and walked them up the stairs and out of sight of the baffled teacher.

Rosie punched Scorpius' arm and stalked off towards class. Scorpius turned to Al and proffered a vial of red liquid. "Pepper up potion, it'll cheer you up and put pep in your step!" he said. Al swiped it and swallowed it down in one go. Steam poured out of his ears, but he felt better and, importantly, was more able to comprehend the mass amount of bullshit that Scorpius had slid past Baghyde.

"That was impressive," he laughed. Scorpius fell into step beside him and they continued on to Transfiguration, laughing over Baghyde's expression all the while.

Al's good mood didn't last through Transfiguration. His utter failure to turn the table top into an acid pool got him a stern talking-to about focusing more on his schoolwork and less on 'other things', though the other things in question were left unspecified and Al got distracted from the lecture to wonder just what it was that Professor Petria thought he did after school hours. His resulting lack of attention earned him a detention, and he left Transfiguration in a huff.

Al's next hour and a half was a free period, but Professor Baghyde had set two essays of ten inches each due by the next lesson, so he headed to the library. Along the way, he ran into Alan Merhoff, who fell into step beside him. "Overhead Petria giving you detention," Alan said by way of a greeting. "She's barmy. Personally, I think all of the teachers are losing their minds this term. I've half a mind to drop Advanced Philosophy right now."

"Don't do that," Al said. "The only intelligent way to beat Baghyde is to tough it out and prove him wrong. Dropping the class because you don't like him is hardly the adult way to handle it."

Alan grinned broadly and slung his arm around Al's shoulder. "Come now, Albie, being adult's no fun. Say, let's head out-of-doors and do something different. You're going to get sick staying inside all the time."

Al looked down at his bag, where the blank rolls of parchment were waiting for the essays Baghyde set. "Hell, why not. Just let me drop this stuff in the dorm and I'll go outside with you."

Alan let out a whoop. "One short year and then it's freedom! Just remember that."


End file.
